Week 1 of relationship
girl: hubby. what are you doing? did you miss me?
boy: missing you. did you miss me?
girl: dummy, of course i’m missing you.
girl: of course, hehe
Week 2 of relationship
girl: hubby, what are you doing? have you eaten?
boy: i’m drinking, have you eaten?
girl: not yet. i’m missing you. i’ll go eat in awhile. hehe
boy: hehe, go eat, quick. don’t starve.
girl: okay. i know. i’ll go now. remember to miss me.
boy: i know. go eat quick.
Week 3 of relationship
girl: hubby, what are you up to?
boy: having fun with a girl. hehe
girl: hmph. go have your fun then.
boy: hahahaha, i’m teasing you
girl: you always reply my messages late.
boy: i’m playing games
girl: okay. don’t be too late, rest early. i’ll go sleep first.
boy: okay. good night
Week 4 of relationship
girl: hubby, what are you doing?
boy: make a guess?
girl: can’t guess. :(
boy: i’m drinking
girl: oh. i’m alright. i just miss you. drink lesser, don’t make yourself uncomfortable.
boy: alright, don’t worry
week 5 of relationship
girl: hubby, what are you doing? drinking again?
boy: yeap, it’s the end of the year. lots of party(not sure bout this one).
girl: missing you. don’t drink too much. i’m worried about you
boy: don’t worry, wifey. nothing will happen.
girl: okay. i’ll go sleep first. you should get home early
Week 6 of relationship
boy: ? what’s up?
girl: let’s break up…
girl: you’re always busy with other things. you never think of me. you only think of me once in awhile.
boy: that’s not true. when i have time i’ll go over and see you, okay?
girl: there’s no need. waiting for time to past is a really bad feeling.
boy: why don’t you come find me then.
girl: i’m sick
boy: then take some medication, drink more water, and rest at home, don’t go out. i’ll come see you in a few days, alright?
the girl feels extremely down, and became disappointed as time passed: hubby, i hope you find a better girl. best wishes, the one you loved.
from then on, the girl’s cell phone could no longer be reached. the boy could only feel sad, for love, has been lost.
First of all, to people who out there who shared this post with their other half(especially girls who showed it to their boyfriend/husbands), hoping that their boyfriends/husbands will start being more romantic and touchy-feely, no offence. Because you may not like what I am about to say. These are merely my opinion. You may choose to disagree, it's up to you. You may be sharing it for the right reasons, or not(“hey honey, read this. I’m sharing this with you because you’re so not sweet! I need you to say sweet things to me all the time and give me all of your attention! Or else, you might just lose me like how this guy lost his loving and caring girlfriend.”).
The messages being exchanged between the couple above is pretty normal. Except the fact that the girl seems to be unable to be independent at all. She doesn’t seem to have her own life, own interests, own things to attend to because all she does is miss her boyfriend. What? The girl also seems to be unable to express her true feelings, as in tell her guy that she needs attention and reassurance(guys don’t catch hints like that, sometimes you have to tell them straight to their face). Also, you break up with a guy because of not getting enough attention? Did you expect to be treated like a princess? Really? As for the guy, how much does he drink, really. How many times a week, man? Kind of overdone, if you ask me. Also, you don’t even bother to check on your girlfriend when she’s sick. That’s kind of an ass move. Forgivable if you’re busy with really important stuff and you can’t get your hands off. But if you’re out partying and drinking, ignoring your sick girlfriend, then you’re an ass.
That’s based entirely on the text messages above. Now, my take on this aspect of the relationship. Specially pin-pointing those out there who expects the unnecessary things from their other half, as mentioned above. What I am about to say isn’t directed for the author of the Facebook post, nor it is directed at the couple in the story. It is directed to people(especially girls) out there who become unrealistic and unreasonable when being in a relationship.
#1: You can't expect your honeymoon period to be permanent. Its simply unrealistic. I do strongly believe that no matter how many years into your marriage, you need to keep the flames burning, you need to put in effort to make things work, make things lasts. But not this way that many girls out there expect from their man. Imagine this. 10 years down the line, you want a husband who knows how to keep a proper and stable job, support the family, cater for you and your children's needs. You want a husband who knows how to come home every night and be there for moral and financial support whenever you need it. You don't need a husband who only knows how to spend all his money on buying you gifts and cute little things, instead of investing them to make more, saving them for your child's education, for a rainy day, for the family. You don't need a husband who is a helpless romantic who skips work, whisks you away on a secret honeymoon, and screw the world with you. No, that's not being charming and sweet, that's being irresponsible. And it only works in novels and movies.
#2: Is 'he is not giving me enough attention' really a good reason for break up? The conversation above shows how shallow the girl is. Sure, the guy is probably not attentive enough. But is he cheating? No. Is he getting himself involved in illegal stuff? No. So what did he do wrong? Men will be men. I know we girls get attracted to all the romantic stories and dream of the day we would find a man like that. No. Stop dreaming. If a man like this ever exists, he is either gay or a complete fraud (No offence to the very few rare ones in the world who are actually dreamy like that). Like I said before, you don't want a husband who gives you 24/7 attention but does not know his role and his responsibilities.
#3: This line: '在一起的情侣们，你们要多替对方想一想，不要总是以自己为中心，让对方顺着你走，性格再好的也会受不了的。。。' (Translation: Couples out there, you should be more thoughtful for each other, do not always only focus on yourself/your needs, and make the other person follow whatever you want, no matter how patient a person is there will be a day where he/she won't be able to take it anymore...) This line is really true. Girls, instead of always complaining about what our guys aren't doing for us, sometimes we should also think of what we are not doing for them. Apart from being our boyfriend/husband, they also need to be themselves. Of course, when you love someone, they should be your priorities. Boyfriends and husbands should know how to put their girls as one of their main priorities. But that doesn't mean that all he can do from then on is spend all his time and money on you and do nothing else except sweet talk and cuddle you endlessly. That's a really unreasonable thing to ask from them. Why do people say 'behind every great man, there is a great woman.'? What does that imply actually? Girlfriends, wifes, we should be supportive of our man. We should be understanding, guiding, loving, and supportive. Not demanding, unreasonable, and selfish.
I'm not a perfect girlfriend either. But I'll always strive to be my best. Not because I'm in such bad conditions and has horrible looks or has bad attitude that no one else would ever want me; not because my boyfriend is a super famous, super rich, super handsome trophy that I manage to get and I must keep it away from prying hands. The reasons why I want to be a good girlfriend is because I love him, and I'm doing it for myself. Here's another thing I feel strongly about: If you're going to do anything, do it for yourself, not anyone or anything else. I believe doing my job well, playing my role properly makes me a better and more wholesome person as a whole. That is why I do it. Sure, I fight with my boyfriend as well. We're all merely human. But my main point is, don't get so caught up with all these fairy tales, romance novels and chick flicks. Stop expecting the sky from your man. Think about it, if they wanted the sky from you, could you get it for them? If they threw tantrums all the time because you went shopping with your girlfriends instead of spending time with them, could you stand it?
Guys. Sometimes, we girls just want a little attention because you mean a lot to us. Girls are creatures driven by emotion. Be understanding, loving, patient and give us the protection and reassurance we need.
Relationship = applause. It takes 2 hands to clap. Simple as that.